Hello, Hello, Good Morning!

The path along Ham Lane, where I had this lovely experience

I had a lovely experience on my way to a meeting at Ferry Meadows this week.

As I walked down Ham Lane, every single person who passed me smiled and said 'Good morning'.

What's so special about that?

It's special because acknowledging one another really matters.

We are social creatures

A very long time ago, when we were all 'hunter gatherers' and had to forage for our food it was really difficult for us to survive by ourselves. We needed to search for food together, to build shelters and make clothes together, and to rely on each other for protection.

We live differently now, however, feeling that we are part of a community and feeling that others value us as individuals is still very important for our survival. Why? Because being acknowledged is vitally important for our mental and emotional wellbeing. In turn, our mental and emotional wellbeing is very important for our physical wellbeing.

We used to live like this.
If we still did we might acknowledge one another a bit more.

'By yourself' and 'lonely' are different things

More of us than ever before now live by ourselves, through either choice or necessity. I lived by myself for ten years and absolutely loved it. But key to doing well on my own was knowing that I was 'by myself' but not 'alone'. I knew my neighbours and I had friends so I felt supported and acknowledged in the world. Emotionally and mentally I felt well.

But many people struggle with the loneliness that can come with living alone, or don't live alone in the literal sense but feel lonely in the emotional sense. A simple 'hello' from an acquaintance or a total stranger can be the only human contact a person living by themselves has that day, or even that week.

A few years ago, when I was writing my book, I spent many days alone (I tend to work through the night and sleep through the day when I'm writing). I needed the social isolation but I also needed human contact. Sometimes, I'd think of an excuse to go to the corner shop just so I could have an interaction with another person.

We're all really busy, and it is of course true that some people don't want to be bothered with others when they are going about their daily business, and this is their right. But I would ask you to take up a challenge that I often set for myself. It's really simple.

Adults forget that smiling at one another is important.

Smile, make eye contact, say 'hello'

When you're out and about, and someone is about to pass you in the street, smile, make eye contact, say 'hello'. We're social creatures and most people will return your greeting automatically. Others will be so surprised they won't react until you've passed by. Others will be shy or may experience social anxiety. They may not return or even acknowledge your greeting, but on the inside your simple acknowledgement will have made a difference. And of course there are other people who will just ignore you because they're grumpy, and that's alright too.

There's a bit of science to it.

When we greet someone (in a nice way) we trigger in that person and in ourselves a release of the chemical 'oxytocin'. This is a hormone that helps us to feel good about another person. In fact, the moment your start smiling, you're making yourself feel better. So if you're not a good mood on a particular day, the best thing to do to make yourself feel better is smile and say 'hello' to someone!

If you're the one receiving the greeting from someone else, smile, make eye contact and say 'hello' back to give yourself a boost of feel-good chemicals. This is a completely natural way to feel good and you may notice that you begin to feel better about yourself and more confident in yourself the more you do it.

Think about it: why do you love your favourite comedian? Because he or she makes you smile and smiling makes you feel good.


An act of giving

If your greeting is ignored, don't be disheartened. This isn't about rejection or failure. Your act of giving acknowledgement to another person is good for you. This is not just about your need to be acknowledged. Rather, it's an act of giving acknowledgement to another person that is hugely empowering and life-affirming for both parties.

On Christmas Eve, for example, I set myself the challenge of seeing how many people I can say 'Merry Christmas' to that I pass in the streets where I live (if they reply that's bonus points!).

We've become not very good at the simple act of acknowledgement but we can so easily put that right. You can tell how happy those people on Ham Lane made me feel because I'm still thinking about it (and writing about it!) two days later. I bet they have no idea of the positive power of their simple 'good morning'.

If you would like to help to make our community happier, stronger and safer, it all starts with 'hello'.

Driven Batty

If you had asked me a month ago what I know about bats I'd have said "very little"!

That was before I took a week-long break on a farm in Cumbria.

You may be thinking that a week on an isolated farm is the ideal place to get a bit of peace and quiet, and it is, but at certain times of day the converted barn that I was staying in was anything but silent as its resident swallows and bats made their presence felt.

I first noticed the bats on the first evening of my stay. I heard some scratching in the roof space above my bedroom so went outside to investigate. Sundown is quite late at this time of year in Cumbria, so it was 11pm - and still light - when I ventured out into the garden to find out what all the noise was about.

When I stood just below the eaves of the house, a squeaking noise could clearly be heard coming from the direction of the barn roof. Shortly afterwards a bat flew out from a space between the roof tiles at great speed! It was soon followed by another. And then another. And then another. When the count reached 18 I stopped counting but the bats did not stop coming. I reckon there must have been at least a thousand in there, sleeping all day, and flying out at dusk to feed on insects on the wing.





There are a few things everyone needs to know about bats.

All bats are protected

Bats do a lot of good in our environment. Over 500 species of plant rely on bats to pollinate their flowers. Bats are insectivores (they eat insects) and will eat thousands of insects every night, including blood-sucking mosquitoes. Bats also play a vital role in distributing seeds of trees and other plants.

Some bats are 'indicator species'. This means that changes in their population can mean that there are also changes happening in the biodiversity of their environment.

So bats are very special little creatures. In fact, they are a protected species in the UK.

According to the Bat Conservation Trust, you are committing a criminal offence if you:

1. Deliberately capture, injure or kill a bat

2. Intentionally or recklessly disturb a bat in its roost or deliberately disturb a group of bats

3. Damage or destroy a bat roosting place (even if bats are not occupying the roost at the time)

4. Possess or advertise/sell/exchange a bat (dead or alive) or any part of a bat

5. Intentionally or recklessly obstruct access to a bat roost.

So bats are important and they are protected by the law. But what should you do if you find a bat in trouble?

Bats in distress

A couple of days into my stay I was in the garden in the early evening when I noticed the now unmistakable sound of squeaking bats. This time, however, it was clear that the noise wasn't coming from the roost in the roof. I followed the sound, and it led me to a covered drain on the ground. Looking up, it became clear what must have happened. A drain pipe leads from the guttering below the roof, very close to where the bats were roosting. Some of the bats must have flown down the drainpipe by mistake and become trapped in the drain with no way of getting out.

I knew immediately that the bats needed help. I knew also that a number had probably already died down there. Upon lifting the drain cover my suspicions were confirmed: six poorly bats and a number of others that had already succumbed to being stuck in the drain for however long. 

Before doing anything else, I immediately called the National Bat Helpline for advice. It being the evening by now, I got no reply from the local number that was suggested so I immediately called the local out-of-hours vet, who was incredibly helpful.

Should you ever find a bat on the ground and in trouble but are unable to reach either a bat rescue centre or a vet right away, this is what the vet told me to do:

1. Bats don't do well on the ground or away from the location you found them in, so don't leave them on the ground and don't take them far away from where you found them.

2. Never touch a bat with your bare hands as they can carry dangerous diseases.

3. If you need to move the bat, pick it up the way you would a spider, i.e. put a box over it and slide a piece of card underneath.

4. Put the bat into a box (I used a washing up bowl) with a piece of material, such as a tea towel or small towel, and a small container, such as a plastic milk container top, filled with water. Do not put a lid on the box.

5. This is important. Bats naturally want to climb. When they've climbed high enough they will be able to launch themselves and fly away. So put the box somewhere high up by a wall so they can climb out and keep on climbing. The perfect place for the bats I had found was in the garage which was close by and where other bats were roosting.

6. Now leave the bats alone!

The vet told me that I should call again if any of the bats were still there the following day. However, I'm delighted to report that they all recovered, climbed out of the box and up the wall and eventually flew off!

One of the bats that was rescued

This wasn't the only bat encounter of my stay. A bat appeared in the hearth. Another was found roosting in the curtains in the living room. And yet another was found on the outside wall of the barn, close to the ground and facing downwards. All three were subjected to the same procedure that the vet had suggested and all three survived and flew away. I left a note for the owner of the barn to let her know what had happened. Hopefully, no more bats will fall into the drain or get into the barn through the chimney!

If you find a bat in distress

I encountered these bats in Cumbria, but there are plenty in Peterborough too!

In almost all cases bats should be left alone. However if you come across bats that you think may be in distress please get in touch with either a vet or the Bat Conservation Trust on 0845 1300 228 and follow the advice that you are given. 

Bats are precious, protected and we need them as much as they need us! But it so important to give them the right sort of help, so always, always contact the Bat Conservation Trust or a local vet if you come across a bat you think may be in need of help.

The Tales of Two Cats

I have two stories about cats to share, one heart-breaking, the other heart-warming.

Why 20 is Plenty

On 4th December 2015 at 10am there was a knock on the door of my house which is in a cul-de-sac in Orton Northgate. I opened the door to a young woman who was clearly in some distress. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but there is a dead cat in the road and I can stand to just leave it there", she said. I craned my neck to look down the street in the direction she was pointing, and could just about make out a black shape in the road, with cars swerving to avoid it.

While my partner and a another gentleman from a house further down the road gently removed the cat from the street and washed the tarmac, we knocked on doors to see if we could find the cat's owner, but without success.

This is the street where the incident happened.
It's a residential cul-de-sac, much the same as many around our area.

I own two cats. I know how I'd feel if one of them simply went missing without explanation. So rather than call the council right away, my partner and I drove with the cat to our vet in the hope it might have a microchip with details of the owner. The vet was very caring and saw us right away without an appointment. Unfortunately, the cat was not microchipped.

Earlier this year, a new law was put in place that requires all dogs be microchipped. However, the law does not currently extend to cats (although I believe it should and I have signed a petition to Parliament in the hope of addressing this). You may think that you cat doesn't need microchipping as it never goes anywhere. However, it's those cats that never go anywhere that are least streetwise and most likely to be involved in an accident if they do stray into the road.

This is my cat Derek.
He is microchipped.
He's also quite grumpy.

I really wanted to find the owner before calling the council. Unfortunately, this hadn't been possible so I had no option but to call the council to ask them to collect the cat from me. The council workers arrived within the hour and treated the matter very sensitively. I told them that I was sorry they had to deal with things like this and they said that, unfortunately, it's a common occurrence in Peterborough.

The following day, I put notes through the doors of several of the houses in my street asking anyone who had lost a black cat to get in touch with me. Thankfully, this solicited a quick response from the owner and I was able to tell him what had happened on the previous day. It wasn't a conversation I'd care to repeat but I felt very relieved to have been able to tell him what had happened to his cat, as dreadful as the news was for his family. If it had been one of my cats, I know I'd have been very grateful to know what had happened.

The cat had been run over (and died instantly) in a hit-and-run incident. It was clear from looking at the aftermath that it had been hit by a large vehicle, such as a delivery van, and dragged some distance. Whoever hit the cat must have known what they had done, as it was obvious from tyre tracks that they had driven past the scene to leave the cul-de-sac shortly after the incident happened. In the UK, if your car hits a dog you are compelled by law to stop and report it. However, cats are not included under this legislation. A petition is calling for the law to be changed to include cats.

One would hope that whoever was driving the van would have realised that stopping was the right thing to do. Sadly, it appears not.

If you're running over pets you are driving TOO FAST.

Delivery drivers work to very tight schedules, and as this was just before Christmas the driver must have been under great pressure. Even so, driving without care and attention in our residential streets is not acceptable. What if this had been a child? There is a children's playground at the end of the cul-de-sac so it is even more important that delivery drivers take greater care than this when visiting our neighbourhood.

So what can we do to prevent this from happening again? Clearly, drivers need to drive with greater care and attention on our residential streets. If you're driving fast enough to run over a fit and healthy cat in a cul-de-sac your either driving too fast, not paying sufficient attention or both.

Peterborough Green Party supports a campaign called '20's Plenty' that aims to encourage drivers to slow down in residential areas, particularly around schools and other areas where children congregate. There is no expectation that drivers will all slow down to 20mph, but the hope is that seeing the signs will remind drivers that residential areas are not motorways and that it's all to easy to knock down a child or animal when you're going too fast in a built-up area.

What do you think about this? Would '20s Plenty' make a difference to the road safety in your street?

The Orton Wanderer!

Let's finish this post with a heart-warming story, that serves a as a reminder of how wonderful our community in Orton truly is.

Orton Southgate has an active residents' association and a Facebook group where residents share information and post messages of concern. It was about 10pm one evening in April when I spotted a call for help. A lady living in Orton Southgate had discovered a cat behind a shed in her garden that appeared to be lost. The usual advice if you see a cat that you believe may be missing from home is to leave the cat where it is but give it access to water. Put posters up in nearby streets and put messages out on social media in the hope the owners will recognise the description of the cat and come to collect it. Cats roam, and in many cases will find their own way home.

This particular cat had been seen near the shed for a number of weeks, however, and it was quite clear from its behaviour that it was truly lost. The lady who had taken the cat in was unable to keep it overnight due to having other animals so was asking whether anyone could look after the cat prior to it being taken to the vet the following day to scan for a microchip. I dug out a cat basket from our garage and made my way over to the lady's house and collected the cat.

The cat was a real sweetie, a female not much more than a kitten really. She was no trouble and enjoyed a restful night with me. I posted information about the cat onto some local Facebook pages in the hope that someone might be looking for her. One of these was the fantastic Orton Sellers and Stuff.

Orton Sellers and Stuff Facebook Group

The following morning, we took the cat to the vet. Unfortunately, no microchip was found. We were wondering what to do next when a message from another resident appeared on my phone. A family had lost a cat that fitted the description that I had posted. A picture of their cat was attached to the message. It was immediately clear that this was the same cat!

A short time later, a gentleman arrived at my home and before even seeing the cat or a picture of it he described it very accurately to me. He also showed me photographs of his missing cat on his phone. There was no doubt at all that this was his cat!

And this is the amazing part of the story... the cat, which was only 8 months old, had been missing for THREE MONTHS from an address in Orton Malborne THREE MILES AWAY! Where on earth had she been all that time? And how had she managed to travel so far from home, over at least two very busy roads?  It turns out the family had put 'missing' posters up in their area, but who was to know the cat would have travelled from Malborne, through Goldhay, through Southgate to finally end up in Northgate!

The family took the cat to the vet and apart from a few tics (that fortunately had not transferred onto me or anyone else!) she was found to be in good health. But what a story she could tell!

Now reunited with her family

What a lovely example of a community pulling together to reunite a family with their beloved pet.


Microchip Your Cats!

Please microchip your cats and make sure the information held on the microchip company's database is up-to-date. Microchipping can't protect them from accidents or from going missing. But when a cat is found, a microchip means it can be reunited with its family sooner rather than later.

Any vet can microchip your cat, and a number of animal charities, such as Wood Green, can also help. Microchipping is as important for your cat's welfare as food and shelter, so if your cat doesn't have a microchip yet, please get it chipped today!

A vet scans a cat for a microchip

Not Alright By Me

Sue Ryder Thorpe Hall Hospice, Peterborough

Wonderful things happen in our community every day, and over the coming weeks and months I intend to tell you about as many of them as possible. Orton is a lovely place to live and in our wider city environment of Peterborough there are many fantastic facilities and services that help to make our area a truly terrific place to live and to work in.

But it's not all good, no city ever is. Anti-social behaviour, in its myriad forms, happens all over the country and Peterborough is by no means immune to it.

However, something happened outside our precious Sue Ryder Thorpe Hall Hospice this week that, for me, is beyond the pale: fly-tipping.

Article in the Peterborough Telegraph

I was first alerted to what had happened by an article in the Peterborough Telegraph. It explained that a 'van-load of rubble, broken wood and insulation' had been illegally dumped in an area of natural beauty that had just been painstakingly re-created by volunteers for residents and visitors to enjoy.

The anger and upset I feel is difficult to put into words, but I will try.

People in need hospice care are not rubbish and where they are cared for is not a rubbish tip.

At some time in all of our lives we, or someone close to us, will need the care and support of our local hospice, either for end-of-life palliative care or for support living with the consequences of a long-term illness. At these moments we are at our most vulnerable, our most bewildered and in most need of the dignified and unconditional support that hospice staff and volunteers provide. Treating the grounds of the hospice as an open refuse site is the opposite of dignified and it burns my heart to think how the staff and residents of Thorpe Hall must have felt when this very selfish thing happened right on their doorstep.

If you've never needed the services of a hospice, perhaps I can explain a bit about what they do by sharing some of my family story.

On Christmas eve 2009, my dad was diagnosed with late stage terminal cancer of the throat. Treatment was not an option, so he was quickly transferred to the hospice in his area (not Peterborough) where he peacefully passed away on 12th February 2010. Had he not had access to a hospice, where the care he was given gave him great dignity and peace and where we as a family always felt very welcome and supported, he would have died in a noisy hospital with none of the support or care that he experienced at the hospice, quite simply because hospitals are not equipped to support people with terminal illness in the same way.

I found my dad's death very difficult to deal with (I still do, and expect I always will). I can be a tough cookie and the relationship I had with my dad when I was a teenager was certainly fiery at times, but he was still my dad and I loved him and wanted him to know that. I was really, really scared that my dad would pass away without knowing how much I loved him and needed him, and it was the kind and caring hospice staff who I turned to for advice and support on how to stem the flow of my tears long enough to be able to have a final, proper conversation with my dad before he died. In a regular hospital that would not have happened.

The best way I can describe the experience of being with a loved one who is in the late stages of a terminal diagnosis is this: it is like you're both in the departure lounge of an airport. Your loved one is about to go on a one-way journey and you know you won't see one another again. But the plane has been delayed. You know it will come eventually, but you don't know when. In the meantime, you are both sat in the departure lounge feeling terrified but with no idea what to say to one another.

In this most dreadful of situations, hospice staff are there to help and I don't know how they do it or what we would do without them.

As many of you know, I have multiple sclerosis (MS). I was first diagnosed with MS when I was just 19 and am now 45. I am acutely aware of the incredible care Sue Ryder provides to people with MS through our hospice and others like it. A friend worked in a hospice where I used to live and she said to me 'You matter until the last day of your life'. This is so important to remember. Being in a hospice doesn't mean your final days have no meaning, quite the opposite, They are an opportunity to squeeze as much from life as there is to be squeezed (in the circumstances). I don't know what course my MS will take. My dad's mum also had MS and she passed away at the age of 55 owing to complications. A close friend of mine, who also had MS, passed away aged 43 as her weakened immune system couldn't cope with an otherwise 'simple' chest infection. What I do know is whatever the future holds, if the hospice isn't there to support me and my family the outlook will be far more bleak.

The hospice costs £2.8million per year to run. The last thing it needs is unexpected clear up costs.

I wondered what I could do to help. Peterborough City Council has advised the hospice that the specialist clear up will cost £200. What was needed was money, and so I have sent the hospice a cheque for £200 which I hope will go some way to at least clearing up most of the mess. Moreover, I would like to take the opportunity to let people know why our hospice matters. It is one of the jewels in Peterborough's crown and its staff and volunteers should be treated with our greatest respect.

The hospice now needs more help to install CCTV in the hope of deterring further fly-tipping at its site and catching those that do. If you can spare anything at all (I could ill-afford the money I sent, but I can ill-afford a future without our hospice so I really don't care about the money) please send Thorpe Hall Hospice a donation. You can do so very easily via its website.

This was difficult to write and it may be difficult to read. If you or a loved one are currently coping with a terminal diagnosis I send you lots of love.

In loving memory of my dad, George Williamson 1942-2010.